Is God Leading or Am I?

This month has sure been sour when it comes to writing. It has been a long time since I have written on here, so long in fact that I forgot my password for a short bit.
"The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble, and he knoweth them that trust in him." What a blessing to have God, the very God, in my heart. The very same God that created the universe is the one that gave me physical life, and thank God for the spiritual life he gave me through the Lord Jesus Christ when I trusted him as my Savior.
When I got saved, I was given, as are all born again men and women, the indwelling Holy Spirit. With the Holy Spirit's power, I was made a clean, completely new creature in Christ.
Though it seems so simple, that is salvation. But on the note that I was meaning to get to... God doesn't want us to just stumble, and stagnate, and sin like it doesn't matter when we get saved. He wants to keep us pure (Ph. 4:8); he wants us to flee from sin (II Tim. 2:22); he wants us to keep our eyes from evil (Job 31:1). This all will keep us clean in this very dirty world.
So very often I don't serve God the way I know I should. I thank God for his longsuffering in those many cases. The things I think that I should do for Christ, the plans I have for my life, I am finding them to be so much more grieving to God than outward displays of rebellion sometimes. This is because I try to do so much on my own without surrendering to him. I do things in my flesh rather than to please Christ with the offering of my life. Sure, I know I can't make God any better or more substantial by giving him my life. But he desires a heart that gives him of what he has so freely given already.
Please enjoy...
Is God Leading or Am I?

Where I want to go is comfort;
where pressure never comes;
with settled ease and spoil,
and a relaxed mind finds home.

To serve the Lord in my mind;
to think I’m doing much;
to work around the fear of knowing
that idleness is my crutch.

When sentiment says, “good job son,
you’ve done all that you can do,”
and I hear the cries from other men,
“what a man are you!”

The common sense thoughts, they set in
to do what fits the best;
where I can serve the greatest need,
But forget about the rest.

But if I go where God deems right,
I’ll do and go where placed,
and think not that my talents have set
the course for my least waste.

Where God leads may have turmoil;
persecution, sure will be.
The fruit will not be cause to doubt
though few I’ll get to see.

When Christ sent out disciples,
he warned of failure’s fate;
how inevitable the pain would be,
but this is not cause to quit.

God wants me to go where senses shut down;
where my own desires are gone,
and though few may hear, and God’s name they curse,
obedience is no reason to frown.

I think that I know where God may lead:
the places where I’m most prepared,
what I went to school for, or practiced the most,
but God leads when I have surrendered.

I think that He’ll send where I see the need;
where I can do the most work,
but no, not a chance, He’ll use a humble man
who’ll go anywhere and God’s will won’t shirk.

The places I’d go, God may send away
so my comforts are tested and tried,
and no fruit may come, but serve Him I will
that, not me, but God ‘s satisfied.